Posts tagged week
Posts tagged week
Tracked my calories. One day I went over 5,000. Shitty shitty week. Binged on every feeling of stress. I want to cry. But this is a setback, I am not going to give up or stop trying. Health is more than a 6 pound difference.
SW: 239
CW: 226
GW: 185
Last weigh-in I was on my period, so I am assuming that is why the drop this week was so significant. I am so happy, I know that 215 is not where I want to be, but at least I know that I have lost all the weight I have gained since coming back to America last May. I am hoping that I can continue to eat and work out like I have this past week, but that is doubtful since I had more free time this week than usual. This is the weight I was after the first time I “recovered” and I remember hating myself so much and thinking I was incredibly fat, and now I am happy to be back here. Strange how these things work. I ate between 1,300 and 1,800 everyday (except one 3,000+ day) and that may be a little bit low for me, but I am not feeling physical signs of fatigue or hunger so I don’t know. I am shocked at how fast I am losing doing it the “healthy way” so I really need to keep an eye on how healthy I am being or if I am lying to myself.
SW: 239
CW: 215.6
GW: 185
I have lost 23.4 pounds so far!
SW: 239
CW: 222.8
GW: 185
When I weighed myself Monday it said 225. This is the first time I have gained in this process. In retaliation I gorged myself on as much food as I could possibly find with a “fuck it” attitude.
No. This is not a weight-loss blog. IT IS A RECOVERY BLOG. Over-eating is just as destructive to my mentality as fasting is. Obviously, or I wouldn’t be overweight.
I just want to cry. I feel so defeated. I was doing so well, and I feel like the past week and a half I have failed in every way. A big part of it was Spring Break and then being home for Easter. Salty ham makes me bloated, then lots of chocolate, and my first real binge in a while. I am so disappointed in myself. I am going to try to get back on track. I have been afraid of this blog, and reporting my short-comings. I am so stressed out with school and life and have completely neglected the gym. I know I should get back, but first I want to feel a little more in control of my eating, I don’t want to “bite off more than I can chew” right now. I’m so punny.
SW: 239
CW: 225
GW: 185
SW: 239
CW: 222
GW: 185
I’m down 3 pounds since last week, down 17 pounds total. I honestly don’t know how that happened. Maybe luck? Or maybe I make better choices than I give myself credit for, I just wish I could see that.
Saw boyfriend, he called me skinny and told me it was nice. Not quite sure how I feel about that. He also told me that he is worried about me and wants me to take care of myself. I haven’t been eating very well. I need to get back on track, but it feels like the entire world is in spring break mode. I’m going to visit 2 of my best friends this week and I know we will be eating out a lot. I’m worried.
SW: 239
CW: 225
GW: 185
I’m down 14 pounds and I don’t see any changes. It’s okay. Patience patience patience. Healthy healthy healthy. I am already losing faster than is healthy, and I need to realize the more I lose the slower I will lose. As I get down to a healthier weight, the pounds will be more stubborn.
I was really worried that I wouldn’t lose this week. It’s my time of the month and I had a few days of bad eating. I am down 3 pounds this week! I am actually really really surprised and it’s nice to be able to tell myself that we all have bad days, but instead of letting a bad day throw me off track into a spiral of bad eating I can wake up the next morning to make healthy choices again.
SW: 239
CW: 228
GW: 185
I am still going to use the bad scale here. If nothing else it will give me some sort of idea about my progress.
SW: 239
CW:231
GW: 185
Part of the joy of being tall is that the entire world is about 4 inches too low to be comfortable. The sink in the bathroom, the countertop in the kitchen, the water fixture in my shower, everything. If you add this really fun fact to a back mutation (poorly developed L6 with no disc that does a lot of shifting) you get incredible back pain. I think I pushed myself too hard by trying to go to the gym everyday. I was going for too long and not paying enough attention to the signs my body was giving me because I was so wrapped up in the idea of exercise. Long story short: stress on my back problem from exercising incorrectly + that awkward 20º bend down my back has to do in order for me to wash my hands = click of throwing my back out and EXTREME pain and a pretty consistant lack of relief over the past couple of days. Because it doesn’t get this bad very often I still don’t have a chiropractor at school and since I am going home next weekend I didn’t feel the need to get it fixed immediately, which I am kinda regretting. Besides the pain, I cannot walk comfortably and going to the gym is out of the question. All the muscles in my back are spasming too so all the flexibility I was working on is completely gone.
I am really discouraged, and haven’t gone to the gym since Tuesday after going every day for 2 weeks. I think it is good though. Part of recovery is learning to listen to my body, and I am glad that it is giving me a wakeup call to pay attention a little better before I got too far into an unhealthy habit. I will go home next weekend and get it fixed and start the gym again then. Right now as much walking as I can stand and trying to eat well.
The scale says I lost five pounds this week. I do not believe it. I ate really poorly 2 days of the week, and had one purging episode. I am doing really well on not drinking and was probably consuming about 2,000 calories of alcohol a week before, so that may be helping. And, I did eat really well a couple of days. Baby steps and moderation, not my forte.
SW: 239
CW: 234
GW: 185
